Things People Don't Tell You, Part 1

One of the biggest lessons that we've learned during this pregnancy is that the average person doesn't know a darn thing about pregnancy. It's odd, isn't it, considering that we all arrive here on Earth in the same fashion - gestating for about 9 months and then labor and birth. But how often are we really around pregnant women in our society? And when was the last time you witnessed a birth? It strikes me how we isolate these events - pregnancy as 'oh, she's pregnant' and birth as a more or less medical condition. And so, this is how Julian and I managed to live a combined 54 years on this earth without really knowing what to expect from pregnancy (and labor and birth). Because of this, I'm starting a 'Things People Don't Tell You About Pregnancy' series in this blog. This is dedicated it to all of my girl friends who have yet to become pregnant, all of the men who will never become pregnant, and anyone else with general curiosity and the need for an occasional chuckle.

Things People Don't Tell You About Pregnancy, Part 1
Let's talk about the first trimester today:

- Morning Sickness is REAL. It also isn't limited to the morning. Your favorite foods may become sworn enemies, and the mere thought of them may turn your face a lovely shade of green. Forget about cooking. Eat what you can and avoid what you can't eat. The end. The baby will be fine. You may be sick for weeks, or even months. Just because your mom never got morning sickness doesn't mean you'll be so lucky (remember, genes come from both sides of the family). If you are carrying twins, the hormone levels are so high that you will be screwed - no avoiding m/s. And if your desk at work is located near the break room, brace yourself. Enjoy.

- The mad crazy constantly increasing progesterone levels in your body work to slow down your digestion so that the fetus gains access to more nutrients. No problem, right? Read: increased progesterone = heartburn like a flaming sword in your throat; belching 10x more that the average soda-drinking teenage boy; and some extra gas to get you tooting around the house. By now, you are feeling beautiful and must certainly be 'glowing' with pregnancy.

- You will likely be exhausted. There were days when I could hardly make it through work (and would leave early) to come home to the couch, wake up for dinner (toaster waffles b/c that's all I could eat due to 'morning' sickness), and then go to bed. Repeat again next day.

- You will be overwhelmed with information. Information on 'what to expect', information from doctors who ask you if you want to do X screening for risk factors for ABC and Y testing for genetic defects GHI, information that you know should be out there to assure you that you can figure out how to do this but how do you find that information and now, wait, because this book says that my baby might die before 12 weeks anyway so why don't I just wait until 13 weeks to start learning... And isn't this supposed to be natural?!! Advice: Educate yourself thoroughly, quickly, and continuously throughout pregnancy to prepare for the next stage (weeks ahead, birth, newborn care, etc.). Otherwise, you'll be swimming in a sea of oftentimes frightening statistics that most likely will not end up applying to you, your pregnancy, or your baby. Self education will make you more able to make good decisions and more comfortable of the conclusions you reach regarding prenatal care, screening tests, and beyond.

- By the end of the first trimester, your pants may enter the 'don't wanna button' stage. In my case, it was the wedding dress after dinner that 'didn't wanna zipper'. :) For a quick pants fix you can get these things called 'Bella Bands' that are essentially spandex tubes for holding up your britches. I bought one second hand but quickly realized that any additional pressure on the belly was not welcome. You can also try using a rubber band to widen the waist of button-up pants. Cheap, but sometimes unreliable ;P

And there you have it. Go on, get pregnant! To be continued...

Girls?

For the first time, our poll (see below, right column of page) shows that the guess that we are having girls outnumbers boys. We'll find out in a month or so!

Totally Birdy

March is motoring along. We've enjoyed sunny skies, more blooms, and birdsong even more over the past week. One thing that I noticed when I moved to this heavily populated piece of California peninsula was the lack of birdsong, which was in stark contrast to every other place I've lived in this country, where I would wake to the 'chip chip cheerio!' of robins or the cawing of crows. I say this country, because in Italy there was not much birdsong to be heard, either, from our flat and over the din of the neighbors yelling, the cacophony of televisions (because generally, tiny Italian apartments have at least 3 televisions), the buzz of motorbikes, the guzzles of buses, and every other impassioned urban sound. My remembrance of birdsong in Italy fizzles down to one: an intrepid night bird, who would make solitary, monosyllabic calls from an undisclosed location on our block. I heard this bird on instances when I would return home from a night out. I'm not sure whether the bird was truly nocturnal or just opportunistic. Studies have shown that birds in urban areas have indeed adjusted their calls in an effort to function and in essence, survive, despite the constant daytime din (and sometimes nighttime, as well). For instance, some birds, perhaps like the feathered Italian, move their mating calls into the quieter hours when they may actually have a chance of being heard and thus, finding a mate. Other birds who don't wish to relinquish their diurnal habits have begun to sing at a higher pitch, which is more easily heard over the lower-pitched constant hum of cities. I digress...
The birds around our rental home have started singing and chirping with the dawn and into the day, which is a relief and comfort to me. Today I witnessed two Bewick's Wrens collecting nesting material. It seems they may be starting a nest directly above our front porch, tucked into a blue tunnel of Tibetan prayer flag that has formed from the flag blowing and sticking into the roof's gutter. If they continue to build there, we'll have to secure the flag for them!

Speaking of birds, this past Monday was a birding extravaganza with Shelley, a friend who came down from San Francisco for the afternoon. She suggested bird watching, which both of us enjoy but don't do nearly enough. It was an excellent activity choice - lots of birds on the marshes even in mid-afternoon sun (we were lucky that it was low tide - aka, feeding time) and perfect slow pace for a fat lady. I'll spare you the list of birds that we spied, and summarize it as: lots of duck species, a few types of grebes, and several waders such as avocets and stilts. After birding we went to Google to join our husbands for dinner. YUM.

We're looking forward to this weekend and Easter! Julian happens to love Easter, due to the chocolate, I believe... We'll cook a nice meal on Sunday to enjoy with the neighbors and likely have some egg painting and egg hunting along the way.

My family always hunted for our Easter baskets as opposed to an egg hunt. Usually the searching would go something like this: Get really excited, search for 5 minutes, become discouraged, whine for clues, search more, try to get dog to sniff it out for you, whine for more clues, search search search, WANT CHOCOLATE, nothing, sibling found your basket but won't tell you where it is, sibling found his basket and is now eating chocolate while you still search, whine for more clues and finally enlist Mom to walk around playing 'hot and cold' until you find basket - relief! My mom used to get, um, 'creative' with the basket hiding spots. Some examples: in the dryer under a pile of towels; in the kitchen trash can under the trash bag; and perhaps the most extreme - both baskets in a trash bag tied to a rope, hanging on the outside of the house from a second floor window. Yes, we took the Easter basket hunt seriously at our house. It was nothing short of a sport. As much as I may have whined about difficult hiding spots, there would have been more whining had we found the baskets too easily.

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend! Happy Easter!

March already?!
The daffodils and violets are blooming, and the young plum tree in the back yard is in full snowy white blossom. There is a delicate-looking deciduous in front of our house that is showing off bright pink flower buds yet unfurled; those that have opened are light pink. Next to dance: the wisteria vine which snakes up a trellis against our house before landing and curling through the pink lady tree. It is odd to me to see plants all a-petal as early as February, but it is something that doesn't take much time to get used to :)

My mom was here to visit last week, and she helped to fill our tummies and freezer with slow-cooked 'Sunday sauce', which is spaghetti sauce with meatballs and other assorted meats such as chicken and pork. It is totally yummy! Thanks, Mom!

We have a name for one of the babies. Yes, that's right. Baby B is now affectionately known as "Head-Head". Head-Head's head, as it grows, pushes ever more insistently against its confines of the womb. This pressure results in freakishly itchy skin above my belly button, along with new stretch marks that grow by the day and make it appear as though I have a flaming navel. Which, by the way, is a great name for a drink. I'd like one :) It might ease the itching and help me to sleep at the same time.

People ask me if I get bored staying home. I don't. Quite to the contrary, there is a lot to do when you don't have to work - all the stuff that you mean to do but never get around to in 'normal' life (and it's all really fun, like organizing bank accounts and car insurance and car services and etc.)! Besides the never-ending list of stuff to do around the house and organizing our lives as much as possible before babies arrive, I get to be on 'piss patrol'. One of the neighbor's cats has a penchant for pissing... okay, marking his territory (and yes, he's neutered). Today I had just placed some laundry outside to dry when whaddayaknow, the black cat backs his a$$ up to the laundry rack, tail raised, and out it comes... and pregnant lady chasing cat is not a pretty sight! When I'm not doing some chore or cooking or chasing cats, I just rest. I mean, I'm freaking tired. Often even the thought of talking on the phone makes me tired. I guilt myself thinking that I should want to get out more/do more/call more people before the babies arrive, but then I reason that this extra 50 lbs of baby is tiring, and that just has to be okay with me and everyone else right now. So forgive me if you phoned and I haven't gotten back to you; I'm a resting, gestating hermit :)