Things People Don't Tell You, Part 1

One of the biggest lessons that we've learned during this pregnancy is that the average person doesn't know a darn thing about pregnancy. It's odd, isn't it, considering that we all arrive here on Earth in the same fashion - gestating for about 9 months and then labor and birth. But how often are we really around pregnant women in our society? And when was the last time you witnessed a birth? It strikes me how we isolate these events - pregnancy as 'oh, she's pregnant' and birth as a more or less medical condition. And so, this is how Julian and I managed to live a combined 54 years on this earth without really knowing what to expect from pregnancy (and labor and birth). Because of this, I'm starting a 'Things People Don't Tell You About Pregnancy' series in this blog. This is dedicated it to all of my girl friends who have yet to become pregnant, all of the men who will never become pregnant, and anyone else with general curiosity and the need for an occasional chuckle.

Things People Don't Tell You About Pregnancy, Part 1
Let's talk about the first trimester today:

- Morning Sickness is REAL. It also isn't limited to the morning. Your favorite foods may become sworn enemies, and the mere thought of them may turn your face a lovely shade of green. Forget about cooking. Eat what you can and avoid what you can't eat. The end. The baby will be fine. You may be sick for weeks, or even months. Just because your mom never got morning sickness doesn't mean you'll be so lucky (remember, genes come from both sides of the family). If you are carrying twins, the hormone levels are so high that you will be screwed - no avoiding m/s. And if your desk at work is located near the break room, brace yourself. Enjoy.

- The mad crazy constantly increasing progesterone levels in your body work to slow down your digestion so that the fetus gains access to more nutrients. No problem, right? Read: increased progesterone = heartburn like a flaming sword in your throat; belching 10x more that the average soda-drinking teenage boy; and some extra gas to get you tooting around the house. By now, you are feeling beautiful and must certainly be 'glowing' with pregnancy.

- You will likely be exhausted. There were days when I could hardly make it through work (and would leave early) to come home to the couch, wake up for dinner (toaster waffles b/c that's all I could eat due to 'morning' sickness), and then go to bed. Repeat again next day.

- You will be overwhelmed with information. Information on 'what to expect', information from doctors who ask you if you want to do X screening for risk factors for ABC and Y testing for genetic defects GHI, information that you know should be out there to assure you that you can figure out how to do this but how do you find that information and now, wait, because this book says that my baby might die before 12 weeks anyway so why don't I just wait until 13 weeks to start learning... And isn't this supposed to be natural?!! Advice: Educate yourself thoroughly, quickly, and continuously throughout pregnancy to prepare for the next stage (weeks ahead, birth, newborn care, etc.). Otherwise, you'll be swimming in a sea of oftentimes frightening statistics that most likely will not end up applying to you, your pregnancy, or your baby. Self education will make you more able to make good decisions and more comfortable of the conclusions you reach regarding prenatal care, screening tests, and beyond.

- By the end of the first trimester, your pants may enter the 'don't wanna button' stage. In my case, it was the wedding dress after dinner that 'didn't wanna zipper'. :) For a quick pants fix you can get these things called 'Bella Bands' that are essentially spandex tubes for holding up your britches. I bought one second hand but quickly realized that any additional pressure on the belly was not welcome. You can also try using a rubber band to widen the waist of button-up pants. Cheap, but sometimes unreliable ;P

And there you have it. Go on, get pregnant! To be continued...